Ask Before Reblogging and I'll Ask you :)

• 1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
• 2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
• 3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
• 4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
• 5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
• 6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
• 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
• 8: Are you close with your dad?
• 9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
• 10: What are you listening to?
• 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
• 12. Do you like hickeys?
• 13: What time do you go to bed?
• 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
• 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
• 16: Do you always answer your texts?
• 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
• 18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
• 19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
• 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
• 21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
• 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
• 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
• 24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
• 25: In the past week, have you cried?
• 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
• 27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
• 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
• 29: Do you have a best friend?
• 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
• 31: Who was your last call from?
• 32: Are you mad at anyone?
• 33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
• 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
• 35: How many more days until your birthday?
• 36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
• 37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
• 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
• 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
• 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
• 41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
• 42: Are you available?
• 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
• 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
• 45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
• 46: Do you regret anything?
• 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
• 48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
• 49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
• 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
• 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
• 52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
• 53: What was the last thing you ate?
• 54: Did you get any compliments today?
• 55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
• 56: Do you own anything from other countries?
• 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
• 58: Where have you lived most of your life?
• 59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
• 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
• 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
• 62: Who do you text the most?
• 63: What was the last movie you saw?
• 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
• 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010?
• 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
• 67: Do you curse around your parents?
• 68: Are you happy with where you live?
• 69: Do you collect anything?
• 70: What’s your favourite colour?
• 71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?
• 72: Has anyone ever cheated on you?
• 73: What are your plans for tomorrow?
• 74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one?
• 75: Does your last ex have a job?
• 76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship?
• 77: Where is your cellphone?
• 78: What colour is your cellphone?
• 79: What did you dream of last night?
• 80: Are you atheist?
• 81: Will you change your name when you get married?
• 82: Are you ready for autumn weather?
• 83: Have you had any big storms recently?
• 84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing?

Too Many Words on Things That Don’t Matter to the Rest of the World

So this Memorial Day Weekend, I saw my family for the first time in 8 weeks and attended my cousin’s wedding. This cousin is practically like an older sister to me. There are home videos of toddler me hitting and abusing her 8-year-old self back in my Hayward house. There are hilarious stories, the details of which I will not go into (if you are interested, you can ask me ^^). All this time I’ve known her as a goofy, silly, crude person fitting in perfectly into the goofiness/vulgarity that is me, my siblings, and cousins. Even though she’s a good 7-8 years older than me, it seems as if we’re the same age, just kids. It’s really weird to think of her as a married woman now. 

She’s the youngest out of 6 children and her aunt (my dad’s older sister) was like my second mom growing up. I got to see her brothers and sisters, some whom I haven’t seen in ages. I suppose it was a milestone in our family the day that she got married - the youngest of the biggest family in our family. If that makes sense. All the women looked beautiful in their joy and all the men looked handsome in their congratulations.

What I remember clearly is their first dance at the reception. Up till then, all the music had been traditional Khmer music (going with tradition) but for this dance my cousin had been adamant. She chose the song “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz. It was a more than fitting choice. While I was watching them slow dance, I was struck by how lovely they looked together, glowing with happiness just for each other. I’ve been to many many weddings but maybe I was too young to notice or care. That was the first time a wedding had struck me so. 

I left for Davis on Saturday and when my family returned to Tracy, they went to my aunt’s house to say goodbye to my cousin’s sister and her husband, who had flown in from New Zealand for the wedding. My sister told me later that night that everyone cried. Even my parents, and my parents never cried for anything like that before. Was it because the baby of their family had finally been wedded off? Was it because my cousin who was going back to New Zealand wouldn’t see her family again before she was due to give birth in July? Our family isn’t prone to get emotional. And I was disappointed I couldn’t be there to take part in such a rare moment.

I never saw the appeal in marriage. I barely know myself entirely, much less other people. To handle the responsibility of two minds that are equally unpredictable is a formidable prospect. Friends are surprised when I say I don’t see marriage or children in my future. I suppose I’m less averse to the thought of marriage than I am at the thought of children. If I find someone who I consider to be worth the suffering, then I might forsake all the reasoning I spout. As of now, though, it is inconceivable to me. I know of people my age getting engaged or getting married and it completely escapes me. Even though I don’t understand, I respect their choices.

Noticing that happiness this past weekend shakes me. What kind of happiness do you get from getting involved with someone so intimately in such a way? I’m not even talking about just marriage, but when you decide to engage in any sort of intimate relationship with someone else. The joy and pain I’ve experienced in my lifetime are roughly the same color. I can’t deny that I’m curious. 

On my way back to Davis from Tracy, we encountered a homeless man at a red light. He had shaggy/wavy brownish blonde hair that tumbled to his shoulders and he held up a flimsy cardboard sign that had on it one of those classic messages - you know, like “please help. will work for food.” I couldn’t tell if he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other because he was cold. He might as well have been dancing. But one look at his expression and you knew he couldn’t be dancing. The defeated look in his eyes was striking. 

“He looks so sad,” I said to the car.

My dad handed several bills to my mom and told her to give it to him. She opened the window and held the money out. He didn’t realize it at first but when he did he came to us, took the money and said, “Thanks, I really appreciate it. You all have a great Memorial Day.” And just when the light turned green and we were about to go, we saw a couple walk over and hand him a takeout box of food. My brother was able to see that they’d gotten him pancakes before we drove off.

Things like that make me happy. Seeing people help others, even if it’s a small gesture.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend (: